June 27, 2016

The Basics



Talking to and meeting women is not difficult.  (Gentlemen, if you’re jumping ahead because you want to get to the meat of it you’re doing yourself a disservice.  To understand how and why this works you MUST read from the beginning.  Get your mindset in place and then move on to this lesson.)


Here’s what I came up with as my first lesson while standing in front of the mirror-

“How do I start talking to women?  I Smile.  Make eye contact.  Say ‘hi’.”

I can hear you groaning from here.  Of course that’s how you start a conversation.   But have you practiced it?  I mean REALLY practiced it?  When I realized that’s all there was to it, I knew I had to practice, but where?  What if I screwed up (though really, how badly can you screw that up?).  What if I didn’t get it right?  Then I realized:  there’s a whole world of women out there I’ll see once in my life, so who cares?  So, I ran out of my apartment and went for a walk.  Every single night- every single woman I passed I tried it and critiqued myself.

For months it was a lot of “CRAP!  I smiled and made eye contact, but I didn’t say ‘hi’”  “Dammit!  I made eye contact looked at my feet and smiled.”  “Shit, I made eye contact, scowled, and said ‘hi’.”  You see where this is going?  It’s so simple and yet it requires practice if you’re not used to it.

So, where to do this?  Anywhere there are enough women walking around with their heads up that you can pass one every few seconds.  So, Times Square on New Year’s is probably a bad idea,  and so is walking down Hollywood Blvd on a major holiday.  Don’t do this in a “live-fire” situation like at a bar or a party where you’re expected to be social.  Moderately busy sidewalks, shopping malls (Adults only, guys!  You can find a lot working in the stores.), county fairs, airports, hotel lobbies, use your imagination.  If you live in a small town, make a day of it and head somewhere a few towns over to try it out.

Lastly, as you do this, remember to keep track of what you did.  Did you smile, make (and keep eye contact), and say ‘hi’?  Did you immediately break eye contact when she looked at you?  What was your posture like?  How did it feel?  What was the look on her face like when you said ‘hi’?  Any notes you can take will help you as you progress.


Now get out there and practice!