April 2, 2017


To begin, a respectable ladies man respects HIMSELF first and foremost.   How can anyone else possibly respect you if you don’t?


Before we go further, let’s define the term “respect”.  Merriam-Webster defines respect as “a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc.”


Gentlemen, it’s time to be honest with ourselves.  You don’t have to repeat this to anyone, but for the sake of yourself and your future with any woman you might meet, do you deeply admire you, your accomplishments, and where your life is headed?  Do you value what you have to offer people?  Do you feel you can be an important part of someone else’s life?


Now, to be honest, as I typed those I thought of the ways I admire my achievements but also things I could have done better, things I wish were better, things I wish to see happen.  I thought of the ways I am valuable but also my shortcomings.  I thought of ways I compliment people, but also ways I might detract from them, too, and I’m going to tell you now – THAT’S NORMAL.  Not only is it normal, I feel it’s healthy.  You don’t have to be an investment banker or the Prince of Wales to make an impact and to live a life to be proud of.


When I was very young, my dad left us for another woman.  I was raised in a rural area where my mom was an outcast because of her divorce, but those men who worked construction jobs or at the local grocery store who took time to teach me to throw a ball, or how to play soccer, or took me to a basketball game. . . they were gods to me.  There’s no doubt in my mind that they had their share of shortcomings, but does that erase the positive impact they had on me?  No.   Does it diminish their impact on a young child’s life?  No, of course not.

So what I want you to do is to write down what you’re most proud of with yourself and where you’d like to improve.


For example, when I realized I needed to do this myself my lists read as such:


Proud of:


I’m intelligent, well-read, funny, ambitious, and talented


Areas of improvement:


I’m lazy because I rely on my talents and could do so much more if I applied myself.

I haven’t read a new book in years

All my clothes are black and none of them fit

Sometimes I’m cynical and sarcastic and I say some pretty terrible things.


Then make a plan for improving those things.  Something short, measurable, and executable.  This exercise will help you focus on what you have to offer a woman (or anyone for that matter), and give you a plan to improve yourself as a person so you can add to your list of accomplishments.

To use my list as an example:




Schedule my time better and include breaks to clear my head.  No excuses for skipping scheduled work times.




Pick a book and use that during part of my break time from working on my personal and professional projects,


All black clothing:


Go shopping and force myself to try on non-black clothes in various sizes to see what I like


Being cynical:


Apologize to those around me and ask them to point out when I’m being cynical and rude.

Once you’ve done this for yourself, read on.