Ok, so you’re dressed appropriately, you’ve got a long list of things you do that you’re proud of, and you know you’re a high value individual. Time to meet the woman of your dreams, right?
YES! And maybe. Let’s talk briefly about your conversational skills there before you get all dolled up.
First off, keep that energy and excitement right where it is. You’re going to need it in about five minutes once you head out the door. I do just want to do a quick check-in with you before you go scooting off.
Remember- a woman wants her man to be a man and here is your first (and perhaps only) chance to prove that you are one. So be confident, cool, calmly in control, and able to steer the conversation and avoid awkward pauses. Here are a few notes
So you see her across the bar or room. She looks perfect. You smile and make eye contact, walk over and say “Hi, I’m ____, how are you?” she’ll probably answer with something like “I’m great, how are you?” “I’m great!” and then what?
Well, there are plenty of different ways to go at this point and you’ll need to pick which works best for you and your situation.
First, keep good eye contact with smiling eyes, but don’t stare her down. Look away from time to time especially as you think. It’s natural to do so.
Now, the super confident method in an area that assumes forwardness would be to say something like “I just have to say that you look stunning tonight and I just want to get to know you a bit better.” After she responds you can steer the conversation wherever it seems the most appropriate.
The flattery approach would have you picking up on something unique about her or her outfit. Remember, those who are serious put effort into their appearance before they leave the house. Noticing and complementing the effort she put in speaks volumes about you. Just make sure you’re 1. sincere in your compliment and 2. complimenting her on something unique. For example: “That’s an amazing ring, where did you get it? Oh fantastic, I love how it’s the focal point of your outfit without being overwhelming, do you ______?” And go from there. When the conversation begins to die down you can say something like “Well, I’ve really enjoyed this and would love to get to know you better. Are you free (next Friday night)? Great, can I get your number? Perfect. Thank you!”
The surroundings approach would have you pointing out something unique about the room, art, drinks, food, music, etc. If you use this, always be positive. No one wants the first thing you say to them to drag down their night out.
Regardless of how you approach the conversation, once it’s over leave it alone. Don’t fawn or come back and be clingy. That just screams desperation and no woman wants that. If you see her later in the night in passing smile and if it seems like she wants to talk again ask her how she’s enjoying the night.
Remember guys, they’ve heard the basics before and every girl is sick of hearing how beautiful her eyes are, or what an amazing smile she has.
To keep conversations going consider using this roadmap:
Ask a question, make a statement (not necessarily one sentence but a full complete statement), then ask another question to keep her involved. It’s rude to bore a lady, afterall.
Ask open ended questions so she can talk and share her experiences and opinions with you.
Value what she’s saying.
Keep it light.
Avoid interrogating her, asking boring questions (do you like music/art/etc), or asking interview questions (do you have pets? What do you drive? etc).
Yes/No questions give the conversation nowhere to go.
If all else fails and you’re about to enter an uncomfortable silence, ask her to expand upon something she said. Everyone likes to tell about their positive life experiences and outlooks. Her answer may reignite the conversation in your head. At the very least, it will give you more time to figure out where this is all going.
Lastly, if she’s boring, angry, or anything you don’t want in a woman, thank her for her time and politely exit the conversation. Just because she’s attractive and smiled at you doesn’t mean she’s the one.